Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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