it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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