Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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