i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
