Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
