Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
