So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize