shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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