so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am full of burrito and curiosity
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize