grandma shit on top of the toilet
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
