A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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