you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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