I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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