They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
