i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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