I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
