Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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