your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
