I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
