Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
