She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
