He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
