No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
