I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
