I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
