It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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