i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
