Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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