You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
