just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize