Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
did i just pee glitter
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
