WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
