so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
