I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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