Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
