Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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