Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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