brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Randomize
