Me too!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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