He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
