i was born a porn star she said
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
