It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
