you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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