You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
