Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
