Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
