sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He passed out mid-signature
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
