What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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