I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize