Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
