wanna go halves on a baby?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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