I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
