No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
