Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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