You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
