no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
