Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
