Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
