Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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