I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
