yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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