but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
